A(nother) page out of Appu's life

So, starting from the beginning, when I came to school the first day, I didn't think about what will happen to me in future and cared about today(At that time). Even after the ultimate incident, I was unaware of the thing that I was very found of our class's beautiful girl Akriti Gupta. My mind again wandered and I got head over heels in love with her. When she heard it do you know what her reaction was? She looked as if she had seen a beggar as her groom! I knew why! It was because I didn't look as handsome as she has expected and she had never thought of me as her boyfriend.
Few days later:
Every time I sat for thinking, I would think of her. Shit! I think the pen is not working well. But as a result of thinking of her, I nearly failed in my first exam. Even then I'm collecting my guts to write a diary entry. Hey, do you know I'm close to becoming a "kavi" like Ehsaan? Well, here is one of them:-

Ek bar Laluji ko ek alag bimari kaat khai,

Unko achanak apne state ke safai ki yaad aayi.

Unhone kaha logon se "Pehle mai apne ghar se chaalu karta hu bhai",

Aur unse chaar din mai ek khidki bhi saaf nahi ho payi.

Jab Rabriji ne dekha to kaha "Laluji! Laluji! apne vacuum cleaner ka kamal to dikhaeye,

Bahut saal pehle laye the, Aaj chaalu kar ke to bataeye".

Laluji ne kaha "Rabriji! Rabriji! Kaisi akal hai apko is time par ubhar aayi,

Aaphi to thi wo jo do saal pehle faltu samajh apni naukrani ko thi de aayi".

59.9cc Superbike

I met a small boy today evening, he has come to India few days before only, he knows very li'l about India and the Indian artifacts. The conversation was short yet interesting. I went to his house to pick him up and bring him to my house for didi to meet him.

It was very cold outside, so I took the helmet, leather gloves, skull cap. Then I took the keys of the bike. " Oh! The bike's not clean! Why not take the scooterate instead?"- I asked to myself. Then answering myself in a yes, I took the scooterate.
When I reached there he was very much excited for a bike ride and after he saw those accessories of mine, he was ready to do anything for the ride to come fast to him. So without delaying anymore I took him out on the scooterate. He was excited! I helped him climb the scooty, then started off! "I don't like fast riders" were his first words. I gave him an affirmative answer and confirmed the speed as 20 Kmph. "No, you can do upto 80 Kmph" was his next sentence. I thought to myself "80 Kmph!! If I took every bit of power from the POWERMACHINE I'm driving then also it will cruise only at an unimaginable 55 Kmph." He cut my thought in between and asked me "Whats the top speed of the Vehicle, we are on?,"- expecting something big. I read the expression on his face and thought to make him happy. But as I was deciding the speed to be exaggerated, he fired an observation of his to me, this being outta this world one! " This is a superbike na!!".
I smiled looking towards him and answered him in my thoughts" Ya, Of course this is a superbike, a 59.9cc revved up, freakin' Road dominating mighty superbike."

Bitches, they come they go!

Tring Tring
Tring Tring

Me: Hello
She #1: Hello, Kya mai Surbhi se baat kar sakti hu?
(Me thinks " Are yaar ek aur wrong number, inki to *** ** ***** ", But me continues! )
Me: Ya, sure, Par uske liye apko sahi number dial karna padega!
She #1: kya?
Me: Bilkul, yahan par koi Surbhi nahi rehti hai!
She #1: OK, Sorry, Aap kinke yahan se bol rahe hain?
Me : Ye Sinha ji ka ghar hain!
She #1: Oh! Sorry!
(Me waits for her to put down the phone first... I wait for few seconds, OH! So she is also waiting for the same. )
Me: Hello, You can also keep the phone down.
(Me thinks " oh! what crap I'm talking. " But she giggles. )
She #1: Ya, I know that!
(Now for 10- 15 secs there is no response to my HELLO's, Then,)
She #2: Hello
Me: Yes, Can I help you?
She #2: Kya?
Me: You are not keeping the phone down, So I guessed that you wanna...
She#2: No, I thought that you would keep the phone down!
Me: Your voice seem to be different, I mean, not different on that note but changed I guess!
She#2: Ya, you were talking to my friend earlier!
Me: So, why did she give the phone to you?
She#2: No, she just said you had a good voice!
(Me thinks WOW! she is impressed by my talks! Me tries to be calm, not to show my desperation, atleast not so quickly!! )
Me: Thanks but may I know who's on the other side?
Me(again): O.K. Whats in the name, a rose by any other name, would smell as sweet!
She#2: WOW!
Me: That was said by Shakespeare! not me, but thanks anyways.
She#2: So, what do you do?
Me: Talk to girls when they want to talk to Surbhi!
She#2: Good and besides that!
Me: Study Engineering! Though I don't study much!
She#2(Giggles): You seem to be interesting!
Me: Uh huh! What do you mean by that?
She#2: No, I was just telling you!
Me: Thanks, So what do you do?
She#2: And why should I tell you?
Me: 'Coz I told you!
(Now me thinks she is a smartass gal, let us take her on the other note! )
Me: So, Where do you usually spend your Time out? C. C. D.?
She#2: Whats that?
(OK, She does not know what is C. C. D.! Cool!! Ye to Bewkuf bhi hai!! )
Me: Don't bother!
(Me thinks of another way to ask her out!
SHIT!!! I'm outta ideas!
Me talks crap for some good 10 mins also thinking the way to ask her out! After being not hit by any great idea, Me asks her directly!)
Me: So, Can we meet over a coffee?
She#2: What? 1 sec!
(She took about half a minute to complete her 1 sec.and then again asked me to hold on!)
She#1: What are you saying?
Me: Hey, I talked to you before!
She#1: Ya, What were you saying?
Me: Can we see each other sometime?
She#1: Wait! Lemme think?
Me: OK!
She#1: What about tommorow, Indian coffee house at 6?
Me: Allright by me!
She#1: Ok, Then see you!
Me: How would I recognize you?

At this very moment my didi comes, snatches the phone from me, gives the girl 1 strong dose of ethical stuffs and she keeps the phone down!


Me just thinks of few lines by Eminem, thinking of those 2 girls:

But I do know one thing though, bitches, they come they go
Saturday through Sunday, Monday, Monday through Sunday yo'
Maybe i'll love you one day, maybe we'll someday grow
Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin' runway ho'...

Seven Things

Tagged by Sankalp. But first saw this post on Arjun's blog.


Seven things I want to do in my life:

1. Give my parents comforts they never thought of.

2. Ride across India with friends on some great 1700 cc freakin’ bike and on the trip do some excellent stunts on my bike.

3. Catch everybody’s attention who see me( Even if I’ve to do some silly things)

4. Race with Valentino Rossi and eventually come out as a winner.

5. Rap.

6. Love someone.

7. ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!

Seven things I can do:

1. Maneuver (May it be on bike or life)

2. Have friends.

3. Think logical things.

4. Plan things.

5. Make people happy by talking good about them.

6. Stop.(This includes everything that I start)

7. ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!


Seven things I cannot do:


1. Drink alcohol and smoke.

2. Lose in something that I love to do.

3. Be guilty in near ones eye.

4. Break the traffic rules and law.

5. Waste time(if its not everyday)

6. Lie(of course if its benefiting someone I like, I might lie)

7. Cry


Seven things I say the most:


1. Are yaar.

2. Mujhe lagta hai “I love her ”.

3. Mai jata hoon yaar, late ho raha hoon, Papa aa gaye honge.

4. Thoo!

5. Agar mere pass…………. Hota/hoti toh zamane ki Waat laga ke rakh deta.

6. Aaj maine --- dips lagayi (The number keeps on increasing)

7. Fcuk!


Seven Celebrity crushes:


1. Sushmita Sen.

2. Sonali Bendre.

3. Kate Winslet

4. Malika Arora Khan.

5. Sania Mirza.

6. Pamela Anderson.

7. Sophia.


Seven things that attract me to opposite sex:

1. Smile.

2. Intelligence in talks.

3. Ability to start things(I guess I’m pretty bad at starting things)

4. Sense of humour.

5. Same type of sporty attitude(Should have the funda “Live Life Kingsize”)

6. Eyes.

7. Always ready for fun.

Do Vivas in any language mean SCREW STUDENTS

To rest of the World :

Viva (noun) :
A spoken examination at university.

To Abhinav Sinha :

Viva (horrifying) :
A spoken examination at university (where only the professor speaks).

The above said is proved by series of evidences...

Day # 1: (Engineering Thermodynamics Viva)

Scene #1:
Me enters in the lab, sees a wicked looking External professor. He calls all of the 4 preys ( Student as seen by other people ) to him. Gives all of us papers and asks a question, whose answer is to be written down in the paper. External sends all 4 of us to four directions. Me goes to one of the cona of lab," Fcuk, I dont know the ans." is my first reaction after seeing the question. Me takes out the cell, types the question and try to SMS question to gaurav. "Fcuk again, No network!! " But me tries again. message sent !! on second try.

Scene #2:
Me still waiting for reply of the message...

Scene #3:
Its my turn for a scary viva session. Me takes a seat on the stool, External shoots some great questions to me, Me able to defend only a few... My colleague defends poorer than me + he proves that all the 3 laws of thermodynamics are void, not possible in this God Damn World, that means we are wasting our time here in mechanical engineering as no possibility of 3 laws means no possibilty of mechanical engineering, which in turn means I'm screwing my life for impossible things."fcuk !! fcuk!! " Now external forces me to support the other student by showing his vast experience in confusing his preys and screwing them. Then he says those magical words "Get Out!!!" and we both leave the arena as defeated Gladiators

Scene #4:
Me getting out of lab and suddenly get a message of gaurav answering the question asked on paper. Me smiles at fate and takes leave.

KEYWORDS: " GET OUT "

Day #2: ( Kinematics of Machine Viva)

Scene 1:
Scared to death, Me enters the lab. This time the external is looking like a man, but as always, I'm scared. External quickly asks the questions and me, more quickly nod my head to give a dumb " NO " to all his first4 questions. But on his 5th question me fires a long answer. This time he takes his time and nods me a dumb " NO, this is not the answer I'm looking for ".

Scene 2:
Me gives some answers to save my sinkin' Titanic, Thanks to god this time he nods in a series of rational " O.K.'s ".

Scene 3:
Viva is over, me gets up to go out, internal also stands up with me, comes out and says to me " You did not perform up to the expectation ". Me gives him a silly " Sorry sir, this won't happen again."

KEYLINE : " You did not perform up to the expectation "

Day #3 : (Computer Programming 3 Viva)

Scene #1:
Me enters the lab, this time cool and calm with a perfect, smart " I know everything " walk . Me sits in front of the external (this time a lady). She starts asking silly questions, I answer them. Now she thinks I'm an intellect, She asks me difficult questions. Me gives her a " How do I know " look. Now she is not happy with my " I dont know " answer. She starts firing logical questions and me starts firing back illogical answers.

Scene #2:
Me is still sitting inside answering irrationaly to her. She gives me a " You are screwed " look and asks me to leave. Me gets up fast and take a " I'm done " walk out.

Scene #3:
Internal teacher comes out, Me makes another blunder and reach to her asking " How was my viva ". She relpies " Your response was not good ".

KEYLINE : " Your response was not good "

Day #4 : (Instrumentation and Measurement Viva)

Scene #1:
Me enters the lab with usual " I'm scared " look on my face. External is looking like a fierce lion, who has been kept hungary for 25 yrs. He starts asking some alien questions and me starts giving more alien answers. This continues for about, I don't know what time but it surely seemed like a decade to me.

Scene #2:
Me still sitting like a dumbass trying desparetly to answer some god damn question. External behaves kindly and asks me to leave. Me, without wasting a nanosecond, stands and runs out.

Scene #3:
Internal comes out in the break. Me, eager to know how did I perform, rushes to him as Micheal Johnson and asks him THE question. He looks at me in disbelief and walks away. I understand his " Deep Silence ".

KEYLINE: Sometimes you don't need words to understand thy feelings...

Me and My Allies

My Allies : This word has been very intellectually chosen as dictionary gives the meaning of an Ally as someone who supports you, especially when other people are against you. And what else could have been the Title other than this, as we all are ready to help each other for every single time. This post is dedicated to all my Pals, who make my life what it is today. Without uttering a word now I switch to best part of my life : My friends

• Arjun : As the name, So is the fame. He is a fun loving person with a sense of humour worth appreciation, sometimes the humour is so YUK!! but sometimes it really deserves a bow. Great Biker, slogs in studies when needed, does some cool stunts on his dhoom ki bike, a brilliant programmer, an ace bloggerhttp://drsafetyfirst.tk, good at being weird yet intellectual, my inspiration to start writing the blog and now newly he has been crowned as the Undisputed Fata Champion, taking the crown from Pommy A.K.A. Atish.

• Ankit : He is tall and really very tall. Likes to hang out at places, wants to be the wheelie king of the group and by Gods grace he really executes the wheelies well. Cant come to the night stays but enjoys with us before the night itself. Great Biker, has got good skills and ankit wait! let my bike come...

• Anish : Anish A.K.A. Mallu, a gem of a person with cool parents(95% of our night stays are at his house only). Always ready to lend a helping hand to everybody, gives everybody the required space for life, does not bothers much about studies and ya, He is going to Dubai. This might be a new news but he told me yesterday evening only and after that i'm laughing my guts out !

• Atish : Atish A.K.A. Pommy A.K.A. AaaaaThoo. He is the former Undisputed Fata Champion (Of course the newly crowned champion is Arjun). He is very fond of his family (That does not mean we are not, but he is exceptionally close ( Comments requested here by all the Pommy fans)). Now a days busy in Nahata *** (These stars aren't for some sensored name but I dont know the full name of the insti.). I think if I try more to elaborate on Pommy's Ace characterstics, it will take me about few more Hours, So, Now I am bye.

• Nirupam : Nirupam A.K.A Mota. He is the Long Answer Type person and a great magician as he Can stretch any plastic material more than any elastic material. If looking for any knid of reason on anything, he is the best known person anyone can approach. But on a serious note he is a gem of a friend, ready to give the best possible effort he can. But hey, his comment might be unofficial, so everybody give me your words not to talk about the blog in front of Aunty.

• Abhinav : This is me and I would want you to write about me (Good comments on me would be highly appreciated and Critics are also invited, but if its too harsh then I got some ***** coming your way). The people who dont find thier name up in the list are also invited to do the Entry..... So, please go ahead and write something!