Blah-Blah-Blah

I always write post when I get something interesting to tell all you folks about. But the time after I wrote my last highly appreciated *Smiles* post, I was just looking for that perfect thing to happen to me, which can be told to you and then it happened, don’t get excited, here ‘it’ refers to absolutely nothing. Nothing particular and big was happening to me. It does not mean that my life became good-for-nothing types, but no hilarious or semi-hilarious or quarterly-hilarious or ‘1/n’-ly-hilarious(n=8, 16, 32...) thing was hitting me.

Though I understood very important concept of life – “Do not joke or play pranks on women community in-general”. This super, one of the rule-the-world kind of concept rushed across me twice in this week. Firstly, it was with my lovable Ma. I was just trying to make her laugh by enacting her. Everything went super cool for some good 10-15 minutes in which I almost made her cry with laughs and then she started disciplining me and started giving me lectures on “How you should behave with your mother” and all that kind of stuffs. I was just too annoyed with how feminist race behave. One moment she was as happy as she is and the other, she is treating me like I'm like a murderer.

Well even Brahma-ji was not able to completely understand them, then who in the hell, heaven, am I to try understand them. Let them be the way they are. I sometimes just don’t give a damn. But this time the female involved was my Ma, so I had to. Though I don’t retaliate to my Ma very often so, this time I decided to give it a shot. I stood up straight, looked her in eyes, took a deep-breath, cleared my throat and on top of my voice I roared, “I’m sorry Ma. This won’t happen again.” She smiled back and I decided that I won’t ever in my life again make fun of her not even in my wildest dream.

Then, last night, I was again in a mood for mischief and targeted one of my pal this time. I have this habit of 99.99% times picking the wrong pray for my poor, sometimes (percentage competes with the mentioned number) cheap pranks. The rest 0.01% are the times when I play prank on the animals. Sometimes animal are better. HA HA HA. But in-general “girls don’t take things sportingly” is the conclusion. Not even my sister tries to be a sport.

PS: Even after these many amenities, I just love them! But they should also be supportive in my pranks. May be sometimes my jokes and pranks are way below poverty line but then, just help me grow.
P-PS: The blog title will look relevent if you picture any girl talking.

Bura na mano Holi hai

Holi has always been a very special occasion to me, not because I am a very Happy-in-festivals kind of boy rather because I like the add-ons that Holi brings with itself. When I was a kid, I used to enjoy holi because, first, it brought holidays. *Any child will vouch for it that holidays bring fun*. And when you ask me, I’ll agree to it without any resistance. Secondly, it was the food that brought me immense pleasure. I love food, so I love festivals. My mom still prepares many lovely and of-course very tasty stuffs, which keeps me glued to the kitchen until I declare Everything-that-Ma-made-for-this-Holi-is-over. (I love you Ma).

Its not like only the food and the holiday gives me pleasure but yes, Holi has been special. I still remember about a decade back or so, when I was hardly eight years, I used to carry two buckets full of specially made colored water, one of which had my Pichkari. Now you readers don’t think it to be just another kids’ pichkari. It was no ordinary pichkari, for it, first of all, was gifted by my father and secondly, it was All-Steel + Having-No-washer-defect pichkari. This meant that I could color other competitors with my head held high and continuously, without repairing the washers of the pichkari, in middle of the inter-gali holi war. It was always fun with my Bramhastra kind of pichkari, which made me the Champ of my gali, at-least.

But the victory did not come to me that easy always. Once when I was out of supply the ammo.(Colored water as in this case) and other gali’s kids were chasing me down the street, I fell off. Both my knees got wounded, blood coming down from them but the rivals just weren’t paying any attention towards it and were busy coloring me but then, my troops came to my rescue.*Thanks to them* and in the end, we won by chasing the rival kids out of the gali.

But from past two years I’m not able to play Holi. Not because I don’t want to but I’m not able to. Past to past year, due to death of my loving paternal Grandfather, I was not able to celebrate. Last year I went to Gaurav’s native place. Though I enjoyed a lot there in Mauranipur but I did not play Holi. This year also I won’t be able to celebrate it due to sad demise of my Ma’s Father. So, I’m planning to go to Ankit’s Gaon for studying or at-least have fun out there.

Anyways, Happy Holi.

Perfect Match

This post of me is going to define a perfect match, a perfect lover according to me. It is not necessary that your concept of a perfect lover matches with mine but then, it is what I think.

1. An agile mind: She should be agile enough in thinking to do the requisite things just at the right time at the right place. This could include things from making the perfect move while making love to perfectly giving answers to the people asking some witty questions about our relationship. This does not mean that you have to be rude.


2. Non-interfering: Every relationship is bound by definite boundaries and she should be on the safer side of this boundary. She should be good enough to know where is that fine lined boundary. I don’t like much interference in my life, it doesn’t matter whoever is she, she is not permitted in my life beyond a certain limit. She should be perfect in knowing the thresholds of my patience.


3. Understanding: Just sit next to me, say nothing yet everything to me when I lose. She should be the first one to console me for any grief. She should look into my eyes when I come from work and straight away tell me not to get angry on my boss the next time. Get me something to drink when I sigh in tiredness.


4. Good Cook: They say “Way to man’s heart is through his stomach.” This is very true for me. Some people eat to live but a foodie like me lives to eat. I can eat from anything to everything just with the same craze. So, she should be an excellent cook because I am not.


5. Co-operative: She should co-operate me in every field in which she could help. *This does not mean that she’ll be the only one helping the other person. I’ll also help her to fullest. If she is tired and not ready to cook, I may not cook for her but definitely can bring us something to eat.*


6. Not taller than 5’10”: I mean what kind of boy would want a girl taller than him. In my case I want a girl, if not less, then at least half inch shorter than me *If the girl has a habit of wearing high heel sandals then the combined height should not be exceeding the limit.*


7. Speed Freak: I don’t want a girl whose soul shakes at some freaking speed of 150 Mph. She should also enjoy fast life as much as I do. I don’t want a light hearted girl, whom I’ve to take care of.


8. Non-complaining: My friends could come at any time round the clock. She should be non-complaining of this. I don’t want any fuss to be created when my friends drop in at 3 p.m. and demand a cup of coffee or when they come just to say ‘hi’ at 3 a.m.


9. Love my family: *This, according to me, needs no explanation.*


10. Same taste in music: Music is something that brings people close. She should not give me those evil looks when I continuously listen to Eminem, trying to figure out the accent of the song + learning the lyrics.

P.S.: These are some things I want in my perfect match. Though I’d like a girl fulfilling all the criterions mentioned above, but special consideration can be given to that very very perfect girl in all the fields, barring point no. 7, 8, 9.